i push my fingers into my eyes...

this is fun the part...whatever begins must end...but while the end is still a mystery...now becomes history...with each passing second...we come closer to death...to our ultimate demise...our meeting with our maker...but until that moment...of absolute clarity...when the reasons of our existence...suddenly become imminent...life is here...time evolves...love flourishes...God blesses...I live...

Sunday, July 24, 2005

::the storm story:::

--Author Unknown

After a few of the usual Sunday evening hymns, the
church's Pastor slowly stood up, walked over to the
pulpit and, before he gave his sermon for the
evening, briefly introduced a guest Minister who
was in the service that evening. In the introduction,
the Pastor told the congregation that the guest
Minister was one of his dearest childhood friends
and that he wanted him to have a few moments to
greet the church and share whatever he felt would
be appropriate for the service. With that, the elderly
gentleman stepped up to the pulpit and began to
speak.

"A father, and his son, and a friend of his son were
sailing off the Pacific coast," he began... "when a
fast storm blocked any attempt to get back to the
shore. The waves were so high, even though the
father was an experienced sailor, he could not
keep the boat upright and the three were swept into
the ocean as the boat capsized."

The old man hesitated for a moment, making eye
contact with two teenagers who were, for the first
time since the service began, looking somewhat
interested in his story. The aged minister continued
with his story...

"Grabbing a rescue line, the father had to make the
most excruciating decision of his life: to which boy
would he throw the end of the life line? He had only
seconds to make the decision. The father knew
that his son was a Christian and he also knew that
his son's friend was not. The agony of his decision
could not be matched by the torrent of waves.

As the father yelled out 'I Love You, Son!' he threw
out the life line to his son's friend. By the time the
father had pulled the friend back to the capsized
boat his son had disappeared beneath the raging
swells into the black night. His body was never
recovered," the old man said sadly.

By this time, the two teenagers were sitting up
straight in the pew, anxiously waiting for the next
words to come out of the old Minister's mouth.

"The father," he continued, "knew his son would
step into eternity with Jesus and he could not bear
the thought of his son's friend stepping into an
eternity without Jesus. Therefore, he sacrificed is
son to save the son's friend. How great is the love
of God that he should do the same for us? Our
Heavenly Father sacrificed His only begotten Son
so that we could be saved. I urge you to accept His
offer to rescue you and take hold of the life line He
is throwing out to you in this service."

With that, the old man turned and sat back down in
his chair as silence filled the room. The Pastor
again walked slowly to the pulpit and delivered a
brief sermon with an invitation at the end. However,
no one responded to the appeal. But, within
moments after the service ended, the two boys
were at the old man's side.

"That was a nice story," politely stated one of the
boys, "but, I don't think it was very realistic for a
father to give up his only son's life in hopes
that the
other would become a Christian."

"Well, you've got a point there," the old man
replied, glancing down at his worn Bible. As a big
smile broadened his narrow face, he looked up
again at the boys and said, "It sure isn't very
realistic, is it? But, I'm here today to tell you this
story gives me a glimpse of what it must have been
like for God to give up His only Son for me. You
see... I was that father, and your Pastor is my
son's friend."

::::thank you 4 the venom:::



Sister, I'm not much a poet, but a criminal
And you never had a chance
Love it, or leave it, you can't understand
A pretty face, but you do so carry on,
and on,
and on...

I wouldn't front the scene if you paid me
I'm just the way that the doctor made me, on,
and on,
and on,
and on...
Love is the red of the rose on your coffin door
What's life like, bleeding on the floor,
the floor,
the floor...

You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
Give me a reason to believe

So give me all your poison
And give me all your pills
And give me all your hopeless hearts
And make me ill
You're running after something
That you'll never kill
If this is what you want
Then fire at will

Preach all you want but who's gonna save me?
I keep a gun on the book you gave me, hallelujah, lock and load
Black is the kiss, the touch of the serpent son
It ain't the mark or the scar that makes you one,
and one,
and one,
and one...

You'll never make me leave
I wear this on my sleeve
You wanna follow something
Give me a better cause to lead
Just give me what I need
Give me a reason to believe

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

[july 12]

significance?

**none...

time?

**8:44...

morning or night?

**morning...

hour?

**8...sinabi na nga yung time e...

minutes?

**pucha nakikinig ka ba?

time?

**binge...!

ok, let's begin...

**let's begin mo yang mukha mo...

are you addicted to drugs?

**multivitamins...

no, i mean, addictive drugs...

**multivitamins nga...

do you consider yourself a genius?

**yes...

on what terms?

**puta, maniwala ka na lang...dami mong tanong...

do you believe in God?

**...yes...

capital punishment?

**yes...

a state of balance?

**yes...

should Gloria step down?

**tangina, bahala siya...basta ako gusto ko pumasok...

Monday, July 11, 2005

:::living in your letters:::

(;)dashboard confessional(;)

I'm always assuming the worst,
but you're going on none the less
& there's nothing to cusion your heart led fall.
Letters from further away
keep pulling me close to home.
And there's something to cushion my callous sighs.
And I know that you hope for
longer good-byes
embracing for forever
and falling in your eyes.

Pouring over photographs.
I'm living in your letters.
Breathe deeply from this envelope
it smells like you & I can't be
without that scent. It's filling me
with all you mean to me.

Continually failing these trials
but you stand by me nonetheless
& you won't let me sink
though I'm beggin you.
Phone calls from further away
& messages on my machine,
but I don't ever tell you this distance
seems terrible.
There is no need to test my heart,
with useless space.
These roads go on forever
& so do you and I.

So I'll hit the pavement
it's gotta be better than waiting
& pushing you far away
cause I'm scared.
So I'll take my chances
& head on my way up there.
Cause turning to you is like falling in love when you're ten

Sunday, July 03, 2005

chapter1.0

haay...

+++

i do like what i'm doing in my life...the answer is balance...everything is balance...balance is everything...its time to do it...whatever the hell it is...

+++

bang go the guitars...strum go the drums...the twilight run ep is almost set...and so am i...

+++

i'd like to go on record as being the stupidest stupid person in the world...

+++

new face...

+++

bang bang band band...whoopdee doo...

+++

i have no idea why i'm wasting such good internet time on writing this shit...